Social Tribes

Are you a Mean Girl or Miss Congeniality? Or, like me, some combination of both?

In the workplace, women have made great strides. We help each other smash the corporate glass ceiling, inspire activism, and lift each other to scale new career heights, sending a strong message that the future is female (#futureisinclusive).

There is one area, however, where this zeal for inclusivity is uncommon: The social bubble. Reality shows like The Real Housewives series and Keeping up with the Kardashians are far from prescribing the inclusivity message to viewers. Perhaps the “reality” of the social bubble is that as women we want to pledge to a tribe that elevates our social standing.  After watching reruns of my two favorite movies, Mean Girls and Miss Congeniality, I was struck by the thought that there are two social tribes that neatly divides women:

  1. Those that are cool, elitist and abide strictly by the laws of popularity (Mean Girls Tribe)

  2. Those that are friendly, welcoming and amiable (Miss Congeniality Tribe)

How to tell which tribe you subscribe to?  Check off some of the common behaviors you identify with:

Mean Girls Tribe:

  • You want everyone to believe you woke up looking airbrushed; image is everything for you

  • You judge a book by its cover and do take a top-down approach to life

  • You know every good dermatologist, cosmetologist, and medical spa in town and have standing appointments for botox, Ultera, and coolsculpting

  • You portray an aura of calculated superiority

  • You believe you are the Queen Bee of your social entourage; you demand attention

  • You are very competitive in nature

Miss Congeniality Tribe :

  • You can laugh at yourself

  • You love to eat—life is truly a feast and you don’t mind a few extra pounds

  • You are very approachable; you are open to meeting new people

  • You value personal experiences over material things

  • You are unpretentious in nature

While women are waging proverbial war on bridging gaps to ensure the future is female, and the future is inclusive, interestingly its women who are also widening the social gaps. As for myself, turns out I am pushing for inclusivity in my social circles by bringing together my Mean Girls and Miss Congenialities — and in doing so I have formed a new tribe — Girl Boss.

Blogger Ale La Chula defines this as “Someone that knows her worth and prioritizes her standards; moreover, someone that never settles for anything less than what she deserves.  A girl boss is someone who can do just as good with you as she can do without you.”

So, which social tribe do you belong to?